David Tyree: Ultimate Homophobe 06/21/2011
David Tyree clinched himself a spot in the homophobia hall of fame today by claiming he would trade his legendary helmet catch against the New England Patriots to ensure no law would ever be passed approving of gay marriages. I don't support gay marriage but I do support the New York Giants and anything that takes a championship away from a Boston-area team. Shut up Tyree, New York needs that championship. Its the lone bright spot in an otherwise difficult couple of years for Giants fans. Keep the ring and let the gays get married, the supreme court can always overturn that decision later anyway. Super Bowl rings are forever.
Cheers to Osi Umenyiora for pointing out that Philadelphia sucks. It is unfortunate that Lady Gaga's name is being dragged through dirt by being associated with the Eagles but I'm sure her legacy survive this brief defamation. The only thing better than the seething hatred for the Eagles and their running back coming from Osi is the creation of a new term, Twitter Gangsters. Twitter Gangsters are the ultimate cyber bullies. It should come as no surprise that the convict friendly eagles have such players amongst their ranks. Show some class and take a lesson from Osi and the Giants, man up and do your bullying in person Philadelphia. It's the right thing to do.
Riot Correction 06/16/2011
After watching SportsCenter this evening, I thought maybe I should make a few changes to my Canada riot rant when I learned that 100 were arrested and 150 were hospitalized in the Vancouver riots. Maybe the Canadian riots weren't so tame after all. Just another reason why Canada sucks. Riot responsibly.
Riots: Canada vs. Greece 06/16/2011
Nothing says discontentment like riot gear and molitov cocktails. Yesterday, it two opposite corners of the world, two riots broke out for two, very different reasons in Greece and Canada. So which one was cooler?
Greece: In the midst of a devastating economic crisis, Greece is a nation facing bankruptcy whose citizens eyeballing higher taxes and pensions going up in smoke. Just like our forefathers with their tea, the Greeks revolted when the government tried to raise prices on their cigarettes. Because nothing says I'm taking a long, government approved break like a cigarette and the Greeks really, really despise work. Now, another riot as Greece needs more loans from Germany, who they continue to remind used to be the bad guy and owes one to Europe. Seeing no other option, these fine young gentlemen took to the streets and relished the rare opportunity to hit a cop (and probably not get caught). This was a good, old-fashioned free for all complete with smoke bombs, fire, sticks, stones, riot gear, unnecessarily violent arrests and injuries to police officers. Riots just don't get much better than this one. It was a bring the whole family affair, including that one guy who brought his dog. All-in-all, the drama was there, so I'd say, pretty good riot.
Canada: In true Canadian fashion, Canucks fans look like embarrassed, younger siblings, who are throwing an unimpressive tantrum in a desperate cry for attention. Canada, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Not only did you allow Boston to win another sports championship this decade, but you let them do it on your home ice, and you got embarrassed. You shouldn't be rioting, you should be hiding. But instead, you force the rest of us to take time out of our days to watch your wimpy, crappy riot. Bullshit. Seriously, one car is on fire that no one seems to care about, including the police and the scene is calm enough that the firemen are just casually setting up a hose to put it out. The police officers look like an army of traffic cops in their bright outfits and more than half of them are unarmed. That one rioter being arrest probably could have walked away quickly and been all right. Canada, this is why you never make it into the American news cycle. Watch Greece, and take notes.
Let's Talk Politics 06/03/2011
There's a few well known politicians taking some heat lately and I can't for the life of me figure out why. John Edwards was handed down a federal indictment for "misuse" of campaign funds. Someone has to explain this one to me. It is my understanding that he used some campaign money (admittedly a LOT of campaign money) to hide his mistress during his campaign. It seems to me that had the public found out about this mistress during his campaign it would have made him look bad. Aren't you supposed to use campaign money to make yourself look good? Sounds like a perfectly acceptable use of campaign funds to me. Hiding his mistress has to help his campaign!
The other politician making headlines as of late is New Jersey's governor Chris Christie. He is taking a lot of heat for using a state funded helicopter to get rides to two of his son's sporting events. Of course this caused an uproar because the tax payers are paying for that helicopter. What was the Governor's brilliant solution to the outrage at the misuse of taxpayer money? He cut a check for $2,100 to cover the cost of the helicopter ride. How has no one mentioned yet that his salary is paid with taxpayer money so in the end it's all a wash anyway. God I love New Jersey.
California: A State in Decline 06/01/2011
According to the Los Angeles Associated Press Dr. Michael Kamrava's, fertility doctor of Octamom Nadya Suleman, had his medical license revoked. Is it just me or is this completely ass-backwards. It's not often people get punished for being the absolute best at their jobs. She wanted a baby. She got eight. That's a damn efficient fertility doctor. This guy probably has lines down the street. California is really screwing stuff up lately. The governators fooling around, the potheads didn't show up to vote to legalize marijuana, and now they're firing their best doctors. Get your act together California, you're on thin ice.
Shaq Retires! 06/01/2011
This is the best news that I've heard in a long time. Even with a 19-year NBA career, this guy still managed to find time for what can only be described as an inspiring artistic career. This guy has a platinum rap album (and three others) and enough movies to get him an IMDb page. Of course, no one will ever forget Kazaam, but he's made numerous other appearances on the big screen too, including a cameo in Scary Movie 4. He's hosted Saturday Night Live, been on All That, showed his pad off on Cribs, and, oh yeah, already had two reality TV shows made about him. And he just finished his playing career.
Shaq has been dominating the post for almost two decades, but let's face it he sucked this year and hasn't been really good for a while. Basketball was getting in the way of his second passion: being Shaq. What fans have gotten already is just a taste of Shaq. Could you imagine next year if NBA Shootaround had Charles Barkley and Shaq arguing with each other? That would be better than any regular season NBA game, hands down. Also, because this guy likes the attention so much, there's a possibility for the greatest movie sequel of all time. Space Jam 2 anyone? Bugs is definitely down.
I am sick and tired of hearing about NCAA scandals over improper benefits for players that stretch out in the news for days. So some Ohio State players are selling their rings. They are their rings and they have plenty of them. Who cares? Absolutely no one does other than the never satisfied and always greedy NCAA. Coach Jim Tressel subsequently gets fired and a few players are suspended at the beginning of next season, why can't that be the end of it? A violation was brought to light and action was taken, not enough for the NCAA. Now they're going after Terrell Pryor's cars and every player in the history of Ohio State to get tatt'd up. Apparently the NCAA has a hefty four year statute of limitations on compliance violations. Who the hell do they think they are? Just pay the damn kids that play on national television on a regular basis for everyone's entertainment. So far only one person has had the balls to call out the NCAA for what it's really doing. Eric Cartman said it best during his tenure as commissioner of the Crack-Baby Basketball Association, the NCAA is simply a slave trade. No money for student athletes equals money for the NCAA. It is because of this I have taken it upon myself to officially label the NCAA the most corrupt organization in the country.
And yes i realize how hypocritical it is for me to complain about the NCAA violations being in the news and then to write about them. Screw whoever bothers to point that
"Police say the man accused Haynesworth of punching him in a traffic altercation in Reston. The man told investigators he made a gesture at Haynesworth for tailgating him. They stopped their two vehicles and Haynesworth allegedly got out of his pickup truck and punched the other driver.
At a hearing Tuesday in Fairfax, the case was settled. The details of the agreement haven't been made public.
Both Haynesworth and the alleged victim declined to comment.
Haynesworth's attorney, Steven Merril, told The Washington Post: "He's sorry about the whole incident." Merril told the Post that the alleged victim, Arthur J. Velasquez, had his nose bloodied in the incident...
For anyone who was wondering just how lazy Albert Haynesworth is... well, he's still active enough to get his fat ass out of his car and beat the hell out of someone.
Let's break this down. First of all, what is a "traffic altercation?" Essentially this means Haynesworth was driving like a moron, someone flipped him off and then that guy was dumb enough to stop his car, roll down his window, and allow himself to get whaled on by a tubby, 6 ft 6, 350 pound NFL defensive tackle with a history of violence and an attitude problem. I mean this guy cleated a dude in the face in Dallas a couple of years ago. He's a psycho. Anyone stupid enough to pick a fight with him deserves to get beaten up, and I'm sure the judge agreed.
But at least we know that Haynesworth is out and doing things again these days.
Tressel Resigns, NCAA Wins Again 05/31/2011
So we all know Jim Tressel was a bad guy. It's becoming more and more clear that there hasn't been a student athlete on his football team in more than ten years. But how different is that from the rest of the schools in the country? Pete Carrol is no saint, and his successor Lane Kiffin is even worse. The big programs around the country all cheat and every so often, some poor basturd like Tressel has to take the fall.
This whole Tressel debacle has gotten the media to stray away from what the real issue is. The NCAA is trying to protect its money at any cost. What's the big deal about this tattoo parlor. Didn't Ohio State give those players their gear? If they want to give it to a coke-dealing tattoo artist in exchange for some ink, who cares!? It's their stuff! The school, and the NCAA is making millions off of their talents and they don't even get royalties on their jersey sales. Robbing from students is not in the best interest of their well-being, no matter which way you phrase it. If your kids don't go to class, they're not student athletes.
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